Love type // you

When I was young (still young now though) I used to think that when I love someone, my heart would beat faster than ever. I would feel the adrenaline rush, and it'll make me excited. It's like enjoying an adventure - exploring unknown places, getting lost, meeting strangers and learning something new. 

And fair enough, I hold on to that belief for quite some time. During my past relationships, they will make my heart beat faster each time I talk to them. They will make me feel excited whenever we discussed things. At that time, I feel like I've truly found my soulmate, the one I'd share my life with. 

However, things are not what they seem to be. I failed each one of them miserably. Which of course made me question my belief in love. The belief I hold dearly all this while, is it really the truth? I don't know. And as curious as a kitten, I decided to find the truth. 

My best reference? Of course it'd be my ibu. And she told me things that I didn't know before. She said, loving someone makes your heart beat faster, but it doesn't make you feel like riding a roller coaster. It's beating fast because you see that person and it makes you wanna be with them forever. It's not an adventure, it's a journey. A calm one, if I may add. Loving someone means knowing you can share everything yours, from your things to your body to your feelings to that person, knowing they'll reciprocate. 

You see, when you meet your soulmate, he won't make your adrenaline rush. Instead, he will make you feel like you're in a beautiful poetry, highlighting each and every part of your beauty. He won't make you feel insecure by comparing you with other people, instead he will accept your flaws and make them his, eliminating all your insecurities. He will boost your self esteem, without having to worry about you leaving him since he trusts you. 

You see, I may have met many people, and getting involved with many bad relationships before. But it's safe to say that you're the first to make me feel calm and comfortable with myself. And for that, I thank you.