But darling, actually I don't.
Behind each and every grades I get, there's tears and emotional turbulence. Behind each As, there's the "WTF is this. I don't know this I gotta work hard to understand this". Behind every "you did well" there's the fear of letting everyone down and not being enough.
Behind each writings, there's pain. The painful experience of getting your heart broken, shattered into pieces but you gotta keep it inside cause nobody cares. The sadness of seeing your loved ones leave, one by one but you can do nothing about it. And love, behind each writings, there's people mocking you, saying you won't earn any money from this. And the pain of learning all sorts of techniques in writing, because you see love, I wanna be the best that I could be in this field.
Behind each short films and pictures edited there's the fatigue. The sleepless nights of finishing them, perfecting them to create those that you see and admire. The sacrifices, balancing between your studies and your passion to learn new cool tricks and techniques. The eyesight that was lost while staring at the computer for hours long just to create a 5 minutes video or a cover page.
I sacrificed a lot of things to get where I am now. My pointers, my grades, my sleep time, my eyesight, my money, my time, my body, and many more. Of course I'd be happy if you compliment my work and stuff. I mean, who wouldn't?
But you see darling, I'm still a noob, a learner. And I won't be satisfied with just who I am now, because I know I'm the lamest writer, the noob-est among every designers and editors, the idiot one in my circle of friends. So darling, don't you ever say I didn't have to put any efforts to get to where I am now, because I know too well I'm not the person you think I am.
Tiada ulasan :
Catat Ulasan