Blessing // curse

It is both a blessing and a curse to notice every little thing around you.

You will notice the funniest little things about the world,
And you can laugh and entertain yourself without anyone else knowing
Its like a dirty little secret you share with yourself

You can predict people's reactions and plan your next step accordingly, manipulating your skills for your benefits

You can see things that people couldn't,
And so you know more than them
Which could sometimes be your main weapon and self defense

But when you know more
Sometimes, people won't believe in things they couldn't see
And you are left with things that others can't see, only you
They won't believe your words
And you are left with your own thoughts about things only you can see

And when you notice too much
You can feel a person starting to get bored of you
You can know your loved ones are going to leave you
But you don't want to believe
Because being left alone is your worst nightmare

And when they eventually leave
You were left heartbroken, crying the night out till your tears are dry

And you were left with a tremendous pain in your heart
But they just don't give a damn

In the end, all that is left is the feeling of pain, betrayal, and a hollow heart

And I wonder, why do I fall to people that hurt me the most?
And I wonder, why do people leave when they say I love you?

And I wonder, how long should I live with this pain?

God, how do one move on?