Mess

Poems are beautiful
Carefully chosen words
Beautifully crafted sentences

But this is not a poem
This is a mess
Created by a chaotic mind

That is mine

You know those eerie voices
That come and haunt you?

No, it's not at 3 am 
It's always there
Always whispering something
Something that is not good

Sometimes I win,
But most of the time

I lose

You know those tears?
Not those of happiness
But those of fear
That I won't do well in life
To fulfill their hopes

And those of loneliness
Knowing that everyone's too busy 
With their "lives"
That they forgot to see

These small tainted hands
Reaching them
Begging for attention

Or perhaps,
They saw the hands
Trembling, shaking
But choose to ignore

Have you ever experienced heartbroken?
When you know realize

The cruel law of the world
The strong will live
The weak will perish
"Survival of the fittest" they say

But I ain't strong
Nor am I weak
In the end, 
I wonder where do I belong?

All I need is
a human to talk to
A shoulder to cry on
And a soul,

not disgusted with the mess

I have become

But I wonder,
Is there any?
Because I haven't met one
Maybe,
I'm just a burden
A living mess

I wanna run away,
And just disappear

Benci

Dulu,
Aku selalu kata
"Eh menyampahlah Anis tu"

Tapi sekarang,
Aku respect dia,

Sebab,
walau apa pun orang cakap kat dia,
Walau apa pun orang buat kat dia,
Dia stay strong and "keep swimming"

Nah,
Tgklah sekarang,
Dah berjaya sambung belajar,
Dan dia ada lelaki yang sayang dia as she is

Kau ada?

Dulu,
Aku selalu judge syida

Tapi sekarang,
Aku respect dia

Sebab,
Walau apa pun orang kata,
Dia wak lek wak lu je
Jaga hubungan dia dgn Tuhan

Nah, tgklah sekarang,
Dia berjaya dlm pelajaran dia,
Dan in shaa Allah akan teruskan berjaya,
Dan dia ada 'dia',
Yang sentiasa ada untuk dia.

Kau ada?

Dulu,
Aku selalu ada rasa "tak suka"
Pada mereka

Tapi sekarang,
Diorg lah antara org yang paling aku respect dlm dunia

Tiba tiba aku tersedar,
Yang aku dh berubah

Aku bukan aku yang dulu,
Yang ikut kata hati semata,

Aku bukan aku yang dulu,
Yang marah pada semua,

Aku bukan aku yang dulu,
Yang benci tak kenal rupa

Mungkin,

Ada cebisan cebisan masa lalu yang masih tersisa pada diri ini,
Maka betulkan lah aku.
Tegur lah aku

Dan sayang,
Usahlah kau benci diriku,
Mana tahu kau juga akan jadi seperti aku?

Mengagumi mereka yang pernah dibenci suatu ketika dulu